We have cows, so now what? Well, I guess in order to cover the cost of their eating habits, we have to get them pregnant. So the search was on for a handsome young fella to court our girls! After lots of research and scouring the internet, Larry thinks he's found the right man for the job. A quick call to the owner and we're all set to rent Dozer for a month! Sounds easy, right? Well there's much more to the story. Let's face it, we had no idea what we were doing.
Dozer showed up on a trailer, and happily joined the girls in the pasture.
Initially, the only one of our herd that was interested in Dozer was our steer, Buckaroo. Bucky was looking to get his butt whooped at first, but quickly figured out that Dozer was not playin'. A couple of days go by, and all is well. The cows seem to be enjoying Dozer's company, and Bucky is 'steer'ing clear. Although, he did seem particularly interested in Dozer's private parts. Maybe he was missing his own, or was a bit gender confused. Who knows.
Something changed on day three. Dozer seemed to have grown tired of our girls. He was ready to find greener pastures. He bellowed at the fence that night, and we didn't get much sleep. A call to the owner yielded advice to give it a week. Okay, what do we have to lose? We were about to find out.
“Fences are just a recommendation”
That night, as Larry and I were settling into bed, Dozer was hollering again. We agreed it was time to send him home, and vowed to call the owner again in the morning. After all, his work here was obviously done as far as he was concerned. He was more interested in the neighbor's cows.
In the middle of the night, we were awakened by a loud noise. We both jumped out of bed and went to see what was going on. Low and behold, Dozer was tearing down our fence, determined to find new love! Larry quickly grabbed some range cubes. Food seemed to be the only thing that would distract him from his bidding. Once Dozer was busy eating, Larry reinforced the fence best he could just to get us through the night. You can see his handy work in the picture above, 2x4 planks saved the day.
Another day, and another call to the owner. Unfortunately, Dozer was going to be with us through the week until the owner returned from his trip. Surprised? Yeah, we were too. He hadn't mentioned he was going to be out of town. Okay, now what? Corral panels seemed to be a good idea. So we measured the section of fence that Dozer seemed to be targeting and made a trip to town. And $1200 later, we at least felt a little better that he wouldn't escape. That night, while Dozer continued to croon for the cows next door and rattle the panels, but he didn't tear anything up. Whew, we were good until the owner returned.
Fast-forward to the day of Dozer's reunion with his owner. We were able to get Dozer corralled, and stowed the girls safely away from him in the north pasture. It was pretty easy really. He was gentle and liked to eat. The owner showed up with his trailer, and we both sighed with relief. I went inside to fix breakfast because the boys clearly had it under controlled. But something happened after I went inside. I didn't witness it, but anecdotally, Dozer decided he really didn't want to leave after all.
Somehow he managed to escape the corral and join the girls in the north pasture. Larry mentioned something along the lines of 'idiot' and Dozer scaling the fence to the north pasture and 'dragging his balls' across the panel as he went. Oh boy, this is bad. Now he is leaning on the neighbor's fence. I don't know that I was really thinking, but ran to the shed to grab range cubes. Instead I just grabbed an empty bag because that was the first thing I saw. I had no idea what to do, so I ran over to the gate and started rattling the bag. In the moment, it seemed like hollering his name was going to get him to come to me. As silly as it seemed, it worked! He came running and we were able to get him back to the south pasture.
Larry quickly closed the gate behind Dozer, but now we had another problem. One of the cows got separated from the rest of the herd, and most importantly her calf. We call this cow 'Crazy Lady' for a reason, and we could tell by the look in her eyes that she was looking for a way to get to her baby. Now, if you thought cows aren't very athletic, you're wrong. They are fast when they want to be, and watching a cow jump a 4-foot fence is a sight to behold. As Larry says, "Fences are just a recommendation". Before we could even think it through and react, Crazy Lady jumped the fence in the same spot Dozer had previously. It wasn't her first rodeo, so she hurdled gracefully without even damaging the fence. Alright, problem solved.
Now Dozer knew what we were up to and there was no getting near him at this point. We decided to let him (and the girls) settle down and try again tomorrow. The next morning, Larry was able to corral him easily at feeding time. He came in to call the owner, and guess what! Yup, Dozer completely flipped the corral over and was free again. At that point we were determined. Dozer's owner was on the way and he was getting on that trailer and leaving this property come hell or high water! I don't even really remember how we did it, but we managed yet again to get him corralled.
Both of us stood on the sides of the corral while we waited for the trailer to appear. Obviously if Dozer really wanted to get out, he could have tossed us like rag dolls, but he seemed to be done fighting. Dozer finally went home that day. Larry and I probably didn't say a word for the next hour. We were just reviewing the events in our mind, and wondering what we had gotten ourselves into.
The moral of the story is, well I am not really sure exactly. I don't know that we could have done anything much differently to get better results. We suspect Dozer is the father of at least 5 babies on the way, so the final goal was accomplished. One thing is for sure, Dozer will not be invited back. We will have to come up with another way to get our girls pregnant next year. I am trying not to think about it right now.
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